Raising Kids, Raising Leaders By Tom Hovsepian

Raising Kids, Raising Leaders

By Tom Hovsepian

My daughter Leslie and her husband have the cutest 19 month old daughter! She is so dang smart—loving anything new—all the while beaming that photogenic smile of hers. Her parents have to keep up with her though, and struggle to stay ahead. What used to occupy her for an hour is now examined and discarded in minutes, if not seconds. She’s like that robot in the movie “Short Circuit” wandering around moaning “more input, more input”. Indie Joy loves to learn and was built for adventure. When she can’t satisfy that yearning you’ve got one unhappy kid. What’s a parent to do? 

The other day I was babysitting Indie and I found the James Dobson book, “The New Strong Willed Child” lying on the counter. While the baby slept I read a few chapters. What genius, grace-filled, practical advice.

 

I read the section on how to deal with a strong willed teenager. Boy, did that bring back memories! I had four of them in the home at once! I loved what James Dobson had to say about allowing your teenagers to grow up. He says that all too often we rescue our kids from the consequences of their decisions, instead of allowing those adverse circumstances to teach and train them. In other words, give them the freedom to FAIL. Dobson used the classic example of teaching kids to walk. It would be absurd for a parent to suppose that a baby could learn to do so without falling often. The same holds true for a child growing into a young adult.

Author and pastor, Bill Johnson, tells the story of teaching his kids to ride a bike without training wheels. He knew they wouldn’t be able to learn without falling, so he would take them to the park to teach them on the soft grass. He provided a safe place for them to grow.

Just like raising kids, leaders must provide a safe environment for their people to grow up as well. The example is often used of how ridiculous it would be to give the keys of the family car to a 5 year old.  Well, it’s just as ridiculous to NOT give them the keys when they’re 40!

Jesus had no problem doing this, as John Wimber so deftly explained: Jesus did the works of ministry. Then He did the works of ministry while His disciples observed. Next He allowed His disciples to do the works of ministry, as He looked on. Finally, of course, the disciples were entrusted with the ministry of Jesus and “turned the world upside down”.

Danny Silk, author of “The Culture of Honor”, explains that the Scripture found in John 14:12 “He who believes in Me, the works that I do, he shall do also, and greater works shall he do …” is one of the most empowering scriptures in the Bible. We need to be people who raise up and train, not only our children, but also our leaders, to take over where we leave off—and to even go beyond what we’ve accomplished. We must have the ambition in childrearing, and leader training, to desire that “our ceiling would become the next generation’s floor”. How Jesus could entrust the Great Commission to the bungling disciples is beyond me, but He did, and it worked. How much more should we, when it comes to raising up children and raising up leaders!

Tom Hovsepian is the pastor of Church on the Mountain, a vibrant community of believers in Crowley Lake. We meet at 9:30 Sunday mornings. Call for more information: 935-4272 or www.ChurchOnTheMountain.org

Falling Forward by Tom Hovsepian

A new friend of mine, I’ll call him Fred, has had his run-ins with the police off and on through the years. Yet, he’s the kind of guy, despite these difficulties, who always seems to end up “falling forward”. I love this quality about Fred. Well, the other day, the Sheriff came knocking and Fred ended up in the clink for a 2 day visit. During his time there he met a guy I’ll call Ralph. The next day Fred and his new friend Ralph were released on their own recognizance. While they were standing outside of the jail trying to decide how to get back to Mammoth (a 60 miles journey), Fred decided to call me. No, I couldn’t pick him up, but if he made it into town I would meet him at our prayer meeting later that evening and give him a ride home from there. Fred told me about his new friend Ralph, and I said, “Invite him to the prayer meeting too!” Whereupon Fred did just that. Fred and Ralph hitched a ride with a trucker and got a ride all the way to Mammoth. Fred made it over to my house just in time for us to get a quick bite to eat before heading over to the prayer meeting at the Looney Bean. The prayer meeting was going along as normal, when a guy came to the (locked) door and tried to get it. Fred jumped up and said, “It’s Ralph!” I quickly unlocked the door and invited Ralph to join us. Just as he sat down, my friend Jerry started to share his testimony. Wow! What a wonderful story of God’s mercy and grace. When Jerry finished, I shared a 3 minute version of my own testimony. By this time Ralph was wiping away tears. Something resonated with him and we asked him to tell us about himself. When he finished telling us the story of his difficult life, we invited him to “open the door of his heart to Jesus”. We shared that Jesus had radically changed our lives and set us free from slavery to our own selfishness. We also told him that through Christ we have the opportunity to not just exist through the course of our lives, but to actually live it abundantly. Ralph said “Yes” and we prayed with him to allow Jesus to take control of his life. More tears ensued... Wow! I haven’t been to a prayer meeting like that in a long while. The best part happened on the way home. I asked Fred if he realized that it was his ability to make friends, and Ralph’s trust in that new found friendship, which brought Ralph to the prayer meeting in the first place. I also asked him if he realized that just as Joseph had to go through some injustice and hardship in order to fulfill the plan God had set in motion, he too might have been put in jail for no other reason than to meet Ralph and ask him to go to that prayer meeting. I asked Fred if going to jail for the night was worth it if it meant seeing Ralph give his troubled heart to the Lord. He immediately said, “Yes, of course.” How true for all of us. We can’t always see the end from the beginning. All too often we focus on the injustice of our situations, or how they don’t seem to make sense… when all along God may be orchestrating circumstances to do something much bigger than we think. His desire is to actually USE us in the midst of our difficulty. That’s one of the ways He makes “all things work together for good.” Just like Fred, and just like Joseph, God can take our persistence in simply “falling forward” in the midst of our failings or our unjust circumstances, and make good things happen. Tom Hovsepian is the pastor of Church on the Mountain, a vibrant community of believers in Crowley Lake. We meet at 9:30 Sunday mornings. Call for more information: 935-4272 or www.ChurchOnTheMountain.org

No Greater Love than This by Pastor Tom Hovsepian

No Greater Joy than This By Pastor Tom Hovsepian I recently bumped into a longtime friend and his family. It was a delightful time spent catching up and talking to each of his boys about their present endeavors and their future plans. Each of them had such diversity of focus and desires, and I could see their confidence and the security they had within themselves to pursue their own interests. The key really came when their dad told me he was on his way down to Bishop to purchase a couple of off-road motorcycles. What? I looked at mom to see her reaction. She was fine with it. Well, there it was. Mom and dad were purposeful in nurturing their kids to have the freedom to be different. They made room for the boys, even if it was a bit sketchy. I couldn’t imagine my friend wanting to ride a motorcycle on his own. But it wasn’t about what my friend wanted—for him it was about spreading out to encompass the desires of his kids. The Apostle John was like that. He said in 3 John1:4 “I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth.” If you notice in the previous verse, he isn’t just talking about the doctrinal tenants of the faith. He uses the phrase “walking in the truth” twice in two verses. To him, it wasn’t just about knowing truth. It was about a lifestyle. Polonius, in Shakespeare’s “Hamlet”, speaks the same thing to his son, Laertes, as he heads off to university; “To thine own self be true.” What I believe Polonius and John were speaking to is every parent’s desire to see their children walking in their own convictions of who they are and how they are to relate to the Lord, and to the world they live in. When a child discovers this—and they have to discover it on their own—it brings, like John said, “no greater joy” to their folks. The Lord is like this with us. He absolutely loves it when we take initiative and launch out in the discovery of what pleases us, while simultaneously having a heartfelt desire to please Him. He is for us in our discovery of what it means to walk out the truth for ourselves. It brings such freedom to know that it is okay to be different. When Mom and Dad celebrate and cultivate the process of discovery as to what the truth is for us to “walk” in, life becomes a joy instead of drudgery. And that’s what is on The Father’s heart too, right? That our joy may be full! Tom Hovsepian is the pastor of Church on the Mountain, a vibrant community of believers in Crowley Lake. We meet at 9:30 Sunday mornings. Call for more information: 935-4272 or www.ChurchOnTheMountain.org

The Thread of Love by Amy Friedrichsen

“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can’t, and life cant. The angels cant and the demons cant. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can’t keep God’s love away.”

This scripture found in Romans 8:38 perfectly encapsulates the theme of love woven throughout the New Testament. It reiterates the concept of Christ’s ultimate sacrifice, which proved to be the most dramatic show of love the world has ever seen. This theme of love is developed throughout the Gospels and Epistles beginning with Christ’s birth in a manger in the opening verses of Matthew, and culminating with the ramifications of his death in Revelation. Love is woven throughout all the books of the New Testament in such a way that it displays an element of perfection that we can attain.

In the Gospels we see the thread of love in the following ways:
• Love comes in a manger, not a palace
• Love comes to serve, not to be served
• Love feeds the hungry; it doesn’t deprive or withhold
• Love heals the sick, it does not infect
• Love doesn’t come to give rules and regulations, it comes to turn water into wine and give a good time
• Love doesn’t teach with theology, but with stories and parables so anyone can understand

An example of unwavering love is seen in the parable of the Prodigal Son found in Luke 15:11-24. A boy begs and pleads for his inheritance until his father acquiesces; he leaves home and squanders his savings on partying and a frivolous lifestyle. When he is left without a friend or place to stay and realizes his mistake, he crestfallenly trudges the miles back to his father to beg for forgiveness. When his father catches sight of his lost son, he runs with arms wide open and not only welcomes him back, but throws a party in his honor. No matter how bad the mess up, it’s never too bad for the Father to eagerly welcome you back with open arms.

In Acts, Romans, 1 & 2 Corinthians, 1 & 2 Thessalonians, and 1 & 2 Timothy love is revealed in the ways God tries to connect us with His Sprit.
• In Acts, love is evident in the manifest presence of God. When you’re in love with someone, is there any greater gift than your presence? “And everyone present was filled with the Holy Spirit and began speaking in other languages, as the Holy Spirit gave them this ability.”
• In Romans love is shown by God giving us the possibility of righteousness… being right with God and getting to feel his peace and joy as a result. “Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus has done for us.” (Romans 5:1)
• In 1 & 2 Corinthians, 1 & 2 Thessalonians, and 1 & 2 Timothy, God reveals his love through the gifts of joy, peace, and encouragement. “And God will provide rest for you who are being persecuted.” (2 Thessalonians 1:7)

In Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, and Hebrews love is prominent by the strength and endurance God provides amongst hardships.
• Philippians 4:13 tells us, “For I can do everything with the help of Christ.”
• Colossians reveals love in the way God provides freedom from religion—giving each person the opportunity for an authentic, dynamic love relationship with Jesus himself.
• Hebrews 11:1 says, “Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not yet seen.” What better way to demonstrate your love for someone than by blessing them with the substance of faith to hold on to in rough patches.

The culmination of love appears in the two final books in the New Testament; Jude and Revelation.
• In Jude, love is displayed in sympathy and compassion when in verse 24 it says “God is able to keep you from stumbling.”
• The final act of love is seen in Revelation 21:4 “God will wipe every tear from his child’s eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

This theme of love which is woven throughout all 27 books of the New Testament reveals the dedication and passion of God towards His people, and shows that He will stop at nothing to convey his loving and forgiving personality.

Broken Merchandise by Tom Hovsepian

Everybody loves an underdog. How about those 2004 Red Sox as they faced their formidable nemesis the Yankees in the American League Championship Series down 3 games to 0. The Sox came back, winning 4 straight games, a feat no other major league team has ever done. They then went on to break the dreaded “Bambino’s Curse”, that 86 year World Series victory drought, ever since they traded Babe Ruth to the Yankees in 1920, by drubbing the Cardinals in 4 straight games to become World Champions.

God likes underdogs too. A lot. Little boy David, tongue tied Moses, vulnerable Esther, lion-taming Daniel, and scaredy cat fishermen just to name a few.

I’ve spent 25 yrs. in the construction trade and have found the adage, “you get what you pay for”, as being absolutely true. The use of cheap or shoddy materials will always come back to haunt you.

But God doesn’t see it that way. He states in Psalm 147 that He builds Jerusalem with the outcasts and brokenhearted. It says He heals their hearts and binds their wounds. Sometimes a broken heart can be more devastating than a physical ailment or injury.

Psalm 147 goes on to say that God doesn’t take delight in the strength of a horse or take pleasure in the legs of a man—He favors those who trust in His love expressed through His kindnesses.

Jesus used some unexpected materials to build with too. When 5000 people need to be fed He uses a little boy’s lunch.

Another example of this is when Jesus healed the tormented and demon possessed man from Gerasenes. When he was healed and in his right mind, Jesus didn’t send him off to Bible school or Seminary but told him to go to his people and tell them what God had done for him. Imagine that; broken, healed and sent, that quick.

What about that encounter Jesus had with the relational wreck of a woman at the well who had five husbands and was now living with a guy. To her Jesus revealed himself as the Messiah. When He told her that He was the source which could quench her thirst, she ran off to tell her whole town the good news! “Hey, God knows everything about me, and doesn’t condemn me. Could this be the Messiah? Come and see!” That busted up lady’s testimony brought many to faith.

Jesus said He came for people just like that, “broken merchandise”. I think of what Andy Cominsky, the founder of Desert Stream Ministries said, “The most powerful thing Jesus ever did was to become weak.” Wow!

God has chosen us, the weak, the foolish, the broken to build His kingdom. As we embrace our brokenness we can then embrace the Cross—Christ being broken for all of us who are “damaged goods”. It’s here that the worst curse of all is broken, and in our weakness we become strong building materials for the Master Builder’s hands.

Tom Hovsepian is the pastoral team leader at Church on the Mountain, a vibrant community of believers in Crowley Lake. We meet at 9:30a.m. Sunday mornings. Call for more information: 935-4272 or www.ChurchOnTheMountain.org

Confront Fear Head On by Paula Friedrichsen

Walking is one of my favorite activities, and I try to get out for a daily trek through the neighborhood. A few days ago, while enjoying my morning stroll, a large German Shepard mix bolted out of nowhere snarling, snapping and growling. This dog meant business!

I froze in fear as I watched that menacing dog approach, his teeth bared in a low, mean growl. It appeared he had every intention of attacking me. I looked around for his owner, but the street was completely deserted.

Suddenly, something akin to indignation rose up in me. I thought, "This is my neighborhood! Who do you think you are?" I just couldn't believe the audacity of that stupid, ugly dog, to think he was going to bite me on my street, in my neighborhood!

I charged toward him a step or two and yelled, "BACK OFF!" I meant it, and the dog knew I meant it. Sullenly he backed off a few steps and stopped growling, letting me pass without incident.

This was a real victory for me, since I was bitten several times as a child by neighborhood dogs. For many years my fear of dogs accompanied me on my walks. Even if I came upon a friendly tail-wagging dog, my heart would start to pound and I would literally have to stop myself from running home at full speed (now how would that look - a grown women running in frenzied terror from a friendly, galloping Golden Retriever?)

Though I experienced some relief from my terror in the past few years, it was the incident with the German Shepard that set me totally free. It took me getting outraged at that stupid, ugly dog (and at my stupid, ugly fears) to experience victory.

This incident started me thinking about other fears I still need to conquer. I believe God has placed courage in each one of us - but it's up to each individual to "unearth" it and put it into action. And just like that stupid, ugly dog thought he would take some of my territory for his own, I wonder what other fears in my life have taken over territory that belongs to me?

Fear is a bully that preys on the wounded. Fear will take a past event from your life that caused trauma, hurt, injury, or wounding and capitalize on it until the fear is so blown out of proportion that it doesn't even resemble the initial event.

If fear is casting dark shadows over your life, perhaps it's time to put your foot down and say, "Enough!" Allow the things you fear to be the catalyst that drives you deeper into your relationship with God. He is the source of all courage and bravery, and we would all benefit by spending time in his presence every day. When we build our spirits through relationship with God, we are fortified to face those lying fears and say with confidence, BACK OFF!

Paula Friedrichsen is a member of Church on the Mountain, a vibrant community of believers in Crowley Lake. We meet at 9:30 Sunday mornings. Call for more information: 935-4272 or www.ChurchOnTheMountain.org